Neurodiversity Celebration Week 2025 #sharestories 

Published on 19 March, 2025 | Melanie Kalina

As we mark and support Neurodiversity Celebration Week 2025, we speak to Melanie Kalina, Head of Children Law Department at Hall Brown Family Law, whose son has a type of autism called PDA. She shares with us her experiences, learnings and the power of awareness.

What is PDA, and how does this affect your son?

PDA stands for pathological demand avoidance. It’s a profile on the autistic spectrum.

Individuals with PDA have the ‘usual’ triad of autistic characteristics such as difficulties with social communication and interaction, restricted/repetitive patterns of behaviour, and different sensory experiences. In addition to this however, they also resist and avoid the ordinary demands of life, appearing social but lacking social understanding.

People with PDA have a need for control driven by anxiety and find demands to be a threat to their control. 

My son was diagnosed aged 7 and he is now 13. 

He attends a small mainstream high school and is academically high achieving, partly because maths and science are amongst his special interests. It takes a lot of social effort for him to achieve and engage at school, which means he needs a lot of downtime at home, where we place very limited demands upon him so that he feels safe and in control.

This is something that can feel very challenging because it goes against most mainstream parenting strategies. 

What has helped you during this time?

As you’d expect, since his diagnosis, we have learned a lot about PDA from the PDA society and there are some excellent PDA resources online and in books, but there is still very little support in the ‘real world’.

He has significant sensory needs and meeting these is really important to help with self-regulation. Lots of strategies are trial and error.

PDA is a complex diagnosis, and things change all the time as he grows up – some things get easier (sleep!) and some things get harder (relationships with peers, for example).

The overall aim is to keep demands low and language collaborative and calm. 

Sharing stories with others, listening to other experiences and learnings, is really helpful, and driving awareness is certainly key.

Would you say your experiences with your son have helped shape and change your approach to neurodivergent clients professionally?

I have learned how important effective communication is to reduce anxiety and enable effective instructions to be taken. In particular to avoid the use of idioms and phrases, and to say what I mean directly but compassionately, rather than talking around the issue. 

I also have learned not to take it personally when someone is overwhelmed or exhausted and find it difficult to manage their emotions as a result- sometimes it’s a case of allowing a bit of time to get things back on track, and that’s ok. 

I would also say I have learned to be extremely patient. 

Do you feel there’s enough awareness around Neurodiversity?

I think things are getting better and there are some fantastic advocates and autistic adults on social media doing an amazing job at raising awareness, but there’s still some way to go.

I think that neurotypical people can have a very stereotypical view of what autism looks like, which doesn’t acknowledge that the spectrum is not linear. There is also a lack of understanding about burnout and levels of tolerance, for autism and other neurodiverse conditions, particularly in school and work environments. 

How do Hall Brown support neurodivergent clients?

There are a few of us who have neurodiverse children at Hall Brown and, as a positive and collaborative workplace, we have been able to share our experiences with colleagues, which I think has increased awareness generally across the teams.

We are very keen to ensure that any reasonable adjustments that clients require are put into place as needed and that we are fully accessible. We can communicate across several formats to suit our client’s needs and are well connected with support services to make sure clients are also supported holistically through difficult times.

We would never presume to know what a neurodiverse person’s needs are and will listen and learn rather than make assumptions. 

If necessary, we can also seek a formal intermediary assessment for clients to ensure that courts understand and are aware of a neurodiverse person’s communication needs to ensure the court process is fully accessible and as low stress as possible. 

How strongly do you feel that companies should harness strategies for accommodating different cognitive strengths, overcoming biases, and promoting a culture of understanding?

It is vitally important that all people are seen as individuals, with different strengths but also different needs, so that they can reach their full potential. I truly hope that by the time my son is an adult and he either needs to access services himself, or goes into the workplace, that there is a greater understanding of how important it is that people can be themselves, without judgment or fear of being seen as ‘different’. That is truly the only way to get the best from, and for, someone, whether it’s the best piece of work, the best experience or the best instructions. 

View the Neurodiversity Celebration Week Events Line-up below with access to valuable and insightful discussions:

https://www.neurodiversityweek.com/events