Giving children a voice with Child-Inclusive Mediation 

Published on 13 February, 2025 | Sarah Manning

Children’s Mental Health Week took place at the beginning of this month, organised and run by the children’s mental health charity Place2Be, and was all about helping young people speak up and feel empowered to talk about mental health.

We know how important and valuable this is from a Child-Inclusive Mediation perspective, as it empowers children to be heard, have a voice and be granted the opportunity to speak freely, which is of utmost importance for their mental health.

Each year the week has a theme, and this year it is ‘Know yourself, grow yourself’, which is all about encouraging children and young people to feel confident that they can express themselves. By encouraging self-awareness, which enables individuals to understand themselves and recognise their emotions – enabling them to discover what makes them feel happy, or sad, or anxious, or scared – or maybe all of them at once!

The Voice of a Child.

A separation or divorce involves a significant change to home life, and the family dynamic. Many children therefore find it difficult to speak openly to their parents’ following separation because they don’t want to upset the other parent or make them angry.

Children need the opportunity to talk freely to someone that they can trust with the knowledge that it will not go back to their parents. The mediator will not produce a report of what the child or children has said in the session but rather will agree bullet points to feedback to the parents if they wish.

What is Child-Inclusive Mediation.

It’s normal for parents to worry about involving their child in the child mediation process, but many of these concerns stem from misconceptions.

Child-Inclusive mediation can be a useful tool, as it involves the child or children in the mediation process, giving them a voice and enabling them to speak to a professional independently. It also allows the child or children to feel engaged, respected, and listened to.

Children love both parents and are often stuck between a rock and a hard place trying to please both parents and say things that they believe the other parent wants to hear. Children do not like conflict and say things that they may not necessarily mean. 

The benefits of Child-Inclusive Mediation.

With Child-Inclusive Mediation, the family mediator, who is trained as a child consultant, can speak to the child or children as part of the mediation process to assist parents in reaching arrangements that directly affect them.   

The mediator will assess carefully the maturity and ability of the child or children to voice their opinion and assess if each parent is willing to listen to the voice of the child.

It is important to understand that whilst mediation is voluntary to the parents it is also a voluntary process for any child involved. They will be invited to attend but they cannot be compelled to even if both parents agree.

It is also important for the mediator to consider any other professionals already involved with the child or children and if their parents have the ability to listen to their voice. In some circumstances if ultimately the parents or one parent is unwilling to listen to their child, then the mediator will have to assess if it would be beneficial to speak to the child.

Hall Brown Family Law’s point of difference.

As solicitor mediators, we offer a tailor-made mediation service. Our aim is to improve communication between participants by adopting a ‘proactive’, rather than ‘reactive’ approach. We reach bespoke arrangements by assisting those newly separated to have immediate plans in place, while ensuring to discuss any issues that may arise in the future and how to handle them, therefore minimising the risk of any future conflicts.

As practising solicitor mediators, we ensure that any legal information provided is up-to-date, and we take time to ensure that all issues are dealt with in the session.

Following each session, we prepare a Record Session which includes detailed, clear, and concise information to assist participants in obtaining independent legal advice throughout the mediation process.

The mediator can also prepare a parenting plan to clearly document what arrangements and actions have been agreed to meet the needs of any child or children. It is important to have proactive discussions and agree a plan so everyone then knows what is expected of them, with clear boundaries and expectations. It creates a clear agreement that can be referred back to and can be amended as is required.

We understand that it may be important in some cases to ensure any agreement reached is made into a legally binding document and the mediator can discuss the different options to achieve this with both participants.

Hall Brown Family Law boast excellent facilities in Leeds, Sheffield, Manchester, Birmingham and London, in which they can host face-to-face sessions, as well as virtual mediation by way of Zoom or Microsoft Teams.

All children and young people, whoever they are, and wherever they are in the world, should be able to say – and believe – ‘My Voice Matters’.