Parenting Over The Festive Period 

Published on 19 November, 2024 | Bronwyn Warmington

Whilst the festive period is the best time of year for some, Christmas can be challenging for others, particularly separated parents who are navigating the world of co-parenting.

To avoid any last-minute issues or stress, it is best to plan ahead and agree the arrangements as soon as possible.

This will allow parents to give consistent messaging to the children as to their plans over the festive period and will allow them to make their own plans. For example, it may be that they work shift patterns and need to establish the appropriate ‘on’ pattern for their year with the children. Alternatively, it may be that a parent’s new partner has their own children and want to ensure that the arrangements with their children are consistent so that the ‘blended family’ can enjoy some time together over the festive period.

The festive arrangements can be structured in a number of ways and there is not necessarily a right or wrong approach to take. Every family has entirely different circumstances which need to be considered when planning. The key to ensuring that a co-parenting relationship remains strong is ensuring proposals and discussions are fair, respectful, and child focused at all times.

Some families approach the festive period by sharing the entirety of the Christmas holidays including the special days. For example, one parent may have the children from the end of term time until 12pm on Boxing Day and then the other parent from then until the start of the new term. The difficulty with this is that one parent may end up with significantly less or more time than anticipated depending on how the term dates fall.

Some parents instead prefer to share the special days and rotate them each year. For example, one parent may have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day one year and then the other parent has the same time the following year. The same applies to New Year.

Further, some families like to share Christmas Day itself so that both parents spend some time with the children. However, some parents find this disruptive, and it only tends to be feasible if the parents live in close proximity to avoid the children spending a significant amount of time travelling.

Another consideration is family traditions. A lot of families have separate traditions such as festive parties, annual panto trips and visits to see Santa which also need to be borne in mind when agreeing suitable arrangements for the children. This also includes arrangements to see other family members who may live further away.

There are a number of ways in which an agreement can be reached. This can be through direct negotiations either in person or via the assistance of a parenting app. If this is unsuccessful or inappropriate for whatever reason, parents could attend mediation to discuss this with the assistance of a neutral third party. This can be conducted on a shuttle basis whereby the parents are in separate rooms so do not liaise face to face or online, if appropriate.

If parties reach an impasse at mediation then it is possible to have an Early Neutral Evaluation, where a barrister attends the session as a neutral third party and provides an indication as to an outcome. This is not legally binding and aimed at assisting the parents to reach a resolution without the need for Court intervention.

A further option to consider is Arbitration and the mediator and/or solicitors can assist the parents as to the outstanding issues that need to be determined by the Arbitrator. The Arbitrator then makes a determination which is legally binding. This is a much quicker option as the Arbitrator is instructed privately and the parents have more control as to when the Arbitration will take place and where.

If mediation is unsuitable or unsuccessful, parents could attempt to reach an agreement via solicitor negotiations or a roundtable meeting. If an agreement can still not be reached, as an absolute last resort, Court proceedings could be issued but due to the delays with the Court system, a hearing to determine the discrete issue of Christmas arrangements in advance of Christmas 2024 could be difficult to obtain.

Once the Christmas arrangements have been agreed or determined, it is always preferable to clearly set these out in a Parenting Plan or an Order so that each parent understands their responsibilities and to avoid any misunderstanding.