The start of any new relationship is a time of uncertainty.

If it works and becomes a long-term arrangement, it might lead to marriage, cohabitation and even children.

However, some individuals weighing up such eventualities are not just conscious of what they stand to gain in having a spouse or partner but what they could lose in terms of their independence as a result of becoming one half of a couple.

Such considerations, I have found, are often prioritised for people who form relationships after a divorce.

I wasn’t surprised, therefore, to read an article published in The Times in recent days about what has become known as ‘living apart together’ – people who are in a couple but choose for a variety of reasons not to live under the same roof (https://www.thetimes.com/article/00b9ba9e-5e2e-40d3-bff5-cf7d86c539fe?shareToken=b34713469564e259052c1e812bde227c).

The writer, a divorced mother of two teenage children, described how she and her boyfriend “actively choose to live apart”.

In my experience, such a decision is far from unusual.

Sometimes, those involved both have children who do not or cannot get on, either with each other or their parent’s new partner.

Others, though, are prompted as a result of financial concerns; chiefly, worries about whether they may lose the spousal maintenance which they receive following the end of their marriages.

It is something which I have encountered on a regular basis in my casework over the years.

I have had numerous clients who have either decided not to move in with new partners or have delayed cohabitation because they believe their maintenance might be reduced or lost altogether.

When such support is agreed, the order setting out the terms upon which it is paid can stipulate that it comes to an end upon a period of cohabitation with someone else.

In short, if circumstances change, it can give rise to an argument about whether maintenance should be varied or stopped.

There is no hard and fast formula because the arrangements set out in these orders differ according to the relationships that they’re applied to.

Unsurprisingly, it can be a decisive factor in whether a subsequent cohabitation takes place, leading to discussions about finances and futures.

I wonder whether these issues lie behind figures relating to the living arrangements of people living in England and Wales which were published last year by the Office for National Statistics (ONS)(https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/populationandmigration/populationestimates/methodologies/populationestimatesbymaritalstatusandlivingarrangementsqmi).

They revealed that cohabitation among individuals who had not previously been either married or in a civil partnership had increased by almost one-fifth in the previous five years.

Yet the number of people in unmarried relationships living in the same house had fallen by eight per cent over the same period.

Intriguingly, the proportion of men and women who had been divorced and chose to live alone was up by nearly two per cent in that time.

The practice of maintenance arrangements has itself changed over time.

Where once indefinite support (known technically as ‘joint lives orders’) was relatively common, the award of maintenance for fixed terms is now far more frequent.

The structure and duration of maintenance was one of the topics examined by the Law Commission in a scoping report on financial remedies published in December 2024 (https://lawcom.gov.uk/project/financial-remedies-on-divorce/#3-Documents).

A full and formal response from the Government on whether the current law should be reformed is still awaited.

I should point out that the decision about whether divorcees move in together does not always come down to money.

I am aware of clients who jealously guard the sense of independence or personal space with which they emerge from divorce.

The end of a marriage can, I believe, help people realise what they want and don’t want from the rest of their lives.

One scientific study actually concluded that people who live apart from their partners experience the health benefits associated with being in a stable relationship but without the “frictions” that married or unmarried cohabitation can produce (https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/dec/03/over-60s-who-live-apart-from-partners-have-better-wellbeing-study-finds).

Explaining that to a partner who is keen on cohabiting, of course, can create problems of its own.

I appreciate that it is a difficult balance to strike.

I have found that these issues can lead older divorced people to have the sort of very practical and frank discussions which younger counterparts in the first flush of romance might not even consider.

Furthermore, those discussions can be of immense help should the people involved eventually to formalise their relationships – easing some of the sensitivities around pre-nuptial documents, for instance.

In any case, divorcees weighing up what to do next can definitely benefit from speaking with a family lawyer.

These discussions can certainly help identify and anticipate possible challenges which, if left unaddressed, could complicate both former and future relationships.