Observations both in print and online about the nature of household life quite often present a picture of homes across England and Wales which is fairly black and white.
The exact opposite of a drop in marriage numbers, so this argument runs, is evidenced by a continued rise of cohabitation.
However, nearly 15 years in the legal profession – the last decade with Hall Brown Family Law – has taught me that actuality is rather more nuanced than things can initially appear.
Take, for instance, the latest data from the Office for National Statistics (ONS) setting out the make-up of the country’s population according to its marital status.
At first glance, the bulletin appears to reinforce the notion of cohabitation being the dominant dynamic factor.
The number of individuals living together while unmarried having been neither married nor in a civil partnership before has increased – by one per cent in 10 years.
Yet look a little closer and we find that the number of individuals who cohabit having previously been in a formal relationship has fallen by almost 17 per cent during the same period.
The decrease is even more marked among men and women in the age group which includes the average age at which both opposite sex and same sex couples choose to marry.
Forty-four per cent fewer individuals aged between 30 and 44 who had seen an earlier marriage or civil partnership terminated legally or by bereavement were cohabiting in 2025 compared to 2015.
At the same time – and perhaps surprisingly for some people – the number of men and women over 60 who choose to cohabit after previously being married or in a civil partnership has increased by just under 38 per cent.
Perhaps having grown used to the comfort of sharing their lives with someone else, they prize companionship over solitude as they grow older.
Whatever the reason, this is simply one example in the ONS’ material of where expectations of what the marital status data might confirm meet a slight different reality.
Another notable detail is the fact that the number of couples who are married or in civil partnerships has grown by seven per cent over the last 10 years.
Once again, it is individuals over the age of 60 who are key to that pattern. The proportion of men and women either nearing or of pension age in legal relationships has increased at almost twice the overall average.
It is true that some of those people may have been in those relationships for many years rather than opting to consolidate or formalise their love for one another in a more recent counterpoint to cohabitation.
That is a development which I believe has been driven to an ever greater degree across all age groups by the realisation that cohabitation does not afford the same legal or financial protections as marriage or a civil partnership.
This June, the Government launched a 10-week consultation to consider whether separating cohabitees should be given a measure of the entitlement enjoyed by spouses to make a claim for financial support against their exes.
Although the consultation closes in just over a week, publication of its conclusions is likely to take some time and any consequent legislation will take even longer to arrive.
In the meantime, the gradual, continued erosion of the myth of the common law spouse means that more people view marriage as something of a ‘gold standard’ for relationships.
That knowledge, combined with a pragmatic view of marriage and divorce (41 per cent of marriages end in divorce within 25 years of vows being exchanged), is why I and my colleagues are seeing more people putting pre-nuptial agreements in place, just in case the course of their true love does not run smoothly.
They are particularly valued by those who are remarrying having already been through the pain of a divorce.
Whilst there are still – and will always be – those who view pre-nups as rather cynical and unromantic, a greater proportion of people now consider them an essential part of modern financial planning.
